When You Can't Win Part II
Well, I suppose I owe you a follow-up regarding the Disgruntled Neighbor. When I left you last, I had made the executive decision to cease the back and forth emails. I figured the ultimate goal of the naysayer is/was and will be that they need to have the last word. In the minds of some people, the coveted last word gives the false sense of “winning”. I know this is not valid, as do you, my friends, and so we can happily walk away with the knowledge that this person is/was and will continue to be an Asshole.
As time moves forward, so do we… well, most of us do. I tend not to fixate on the things I cannot control, such as The Disgruntled Neighbor’s attitude. I cannot change their character and frankly why would I want to? I’ve spent plenty of wasted days in my past trying to make people “see” my side… to “like” me and agree with me. Until I learned a valuable lesson, you can’t make people like you. You can only be you and if that’s not enough for someone, move on. Fighting battles with college mates and high school friends, always trying to “win”. It was all such nonsense, and so we live, we grow, and we gain knowledge about what really matters – my dogs, chocolate, summer shorts and spin class (hahaha). But this is not a story philosophizing the growth of an adolescent to an adult. No, this is a follow up regarding an Asshole.
As I briefly mentioned in my previous post (if you’ve not read it yet – do, When You Can't Win) we have some pretty fantastic neighbors. One said pair of neighbors bought and moved in around the same time Jason and I did. They have an adorable bungalow directly across from us, which they have slowly and perfectly transformed into a gem, a beautiful gem. Pouring their heart and soul into the property has not been easy. There are a lot of lessons to learn from renovating a property. There are widely varying cultural aesthetics to a home and neighborhood. In the case of their home, they purchased a property that bragged about its cement back and front yard. Cement. As in, concrete garden. Now, in the middle of the drought we are facing that may seem wise, but there are many indigenous landscapes in California that give back to the earth when faced with a drought. There are plants that are beautiful, sustainable and require little to no water. So our neighbors began to set upon building a backyard oasis. A place their neighbors could come and hang out and enjoy with them. The back of their property has a dramatic drop off with a view of beautiful Mount Washington. It is really stunning. They set out to design and build a deck that would camouflage into the landscape and enhance the overall view. They planted a garden and incorporated compost, a litter for the neighborhood feral cats as well as their own felines, along with catnip for their pleasure. The mood is Zen. Upon the completion the entire neighborhood was invited over for a housewarming – no gifts! With food and beverage. While I was out of town for the party, I have spent many other occasions in the backyard enjoying the serenity and the company. Our neighbors are warm, kind, and generous. They give without the need to receive. These are rare traits to find in friends, let alone neighbors. I’m not trying to bias you with putting them on a pedestal. No, on the contrary, something you should know, I hate their concrete front yard that is painted green to simulate... grass? I mean, it was there when they moved in and sure they have big plans for the front yard, but silly them – they put their money on the most important things first - Finishing graduate school, the interior of their home, their upcoming wedding. Geez, I mean, it’s a little selfish, right?
Their love for the environment is abundant. Originating from Portland, you cannot argue that they are crunchy, yet for some inexplicable reason Disgruntled Neighbor felt she had to impart wisdom on them, unsolicited, in the following email:
SUBJECT: TREES
Dear Nice Guy and Nice Girl-
Hello neighbors. We recently saw Nice Guy’s post on the Nextdoor app, that you were looking for someone to remove the 'infected' eucalyptus trees in the easement between our two properties.
We want you to know that we are completely on board with the removal of any dead or hazardous branches, however, we would like to avoid unnecessarily removing these beautiful, old growth trees, if possible.
In the past, we had to deal with lerps on the tree in our front yard. It would rain honeydew down onto our car, creating a huge mess. We were able to get rid of them by diligently controlling the ants that were depositing the aphids on the leaves. Hopefully, the same can be done for our shared eucalyptus trees.
Before you purchased your home, we hired "The Urban Lumberjack", based out of Hipster Park, to assess the stability of the trees in the easement. He maintained that the trees were in reasonable health given the drought conditions and did not pose a significant threat of falling. He did advise against over pruning, pruning during the heat of the summer, or removal of any large portion of the tree. It was his opinion that doing so could compromise the structural integrity of the entire tree system. Based on this, we have serious concerns with removing any substantial living portion of the tree. While we share the understanding that you have the right to remove the trees whose trunks lay completely on your half of the city-owned easement, the root systems of the trees are likely interconnected.
We love these majestic eucalyptus trees as they provide both shade and privacy to our property, water absorption during heavy rains, and serve as a wind break during the Santa Ana's. In addition to the tremendous environmental benefits these old growth trees provide to our urban landscape, they were one of the reasons we purchased our property to begin with. Removing them would surely result in a reduction to our property value especially now that our privacy has been dimished with the removal of your back fence and the construction of a raised deck at your property line overlooking our yard and home. Removing any significant portion of the existing trees would clearly be a further erosion of our privacy.
If you are determined to cut down the trees located completely on your side of the easement, we think it would be wise to hire a registered consulting Arborist to determine the health of the trees and to advise on the best course of action. Our hope is that they can recommend a reasonable treatment for the lerp problem.
Here is a link for information on Certified consulting Arborists in our area.
http://www.asca-consultants.org/find/directorySearch_results.cfm
We would like to invite you down to our property so that you may see for yourself both the aesthetic and functional value these old growth trees provide from our perspective. We are hopeful that we can reach a mutually beneficial solution that addresses the lerps and allows us to keep these beautiful eucalyptus trees.
Best,
Disgruntled Neighbor
Now, listen, I’m not going to argue that privacy is of the utmost importance when you buy a home. It’s nice to be able to have a backyard that is isolated from the eyes of the neighbors. However, I’ve also seen these trees and they are no longer the majestic beauties they most have once been. The lack of care they’ve seen for God only knows how long, has left them diseased and, frankly, more menacing than not. And while I agree they most definitely provide Disgruntled Neighbor’s home with privacy, why, I ask, in the 10 years they’ve lived in their home, have they not brought in the arborist they used for their front yard trees, to care for the trees in the back? Why now, when someone else is faced with the burden of the cost and labor do you interject and proclaim and demand? Why not offer the solution of going in on the expense to preserve first and clean up? The city easement they are referring to is a hot bed of activity and a horrible, disgusting mess. The neighborhood at large refers to the city easement as “Paper Alley” and uses it for drug use and making firebombs. We are all trying to reclaim this “city easement” and make it clean, safe and environmentally sound. I’m not trying to soapbox, but why do these people insist on status quo? Their property value only serves to increase with the money we are all putting into making the “alley” safer and nicer… BTW, this is where the streetlight resides that Disgruntled Neighbor hates. Now, enough of me and on to the response Nice Guy gave…
RE: TREES
We’re having tree specialist, structural and arbor, give us their assessments in the next few days.
We’re also planning on planting native trees and/or shrubs to grow a few feet above our deck’s top railing so the only view we have is that of the Mt. Washington hillside. We want our privacy as well and we’re working out what to do back there now.
Thanks for your patience.
Nice Guy
I’ll follow up with any updates as I receive them. But quickly, instead of Disgruntled Neighbor inviting Nice Guy & Nice Girl to look at the trees from the perspective of Disgruntled Home, why didn’t they politely invite them over for a lemonade and chat regarding how to handle the trees and the easement? Why didn’t Disgruntled Neighbor walk around the block, knock on Nice Guy and Nice Girl’s door and explain to them that while they (Disgruntled Neighbor) were trolling the social media site for really bored people – NextDoorApp – they came across the post regarding the trees and wanted to talk to them about possible solutions, alternatives, or what, if anything, they were planning to do with the open space when the trees were removed; a neighborly, friendly chat that would result in building a relationship…? Why did they choose to write an unsolicited accusatory email that frankly jumped to conclusions? Why is this person an Asshole…?
P.S. The photo is one of the beautiful views from our neighborhood.
